Photo Update: The Holy Land Experience

[Chris]

In a somewhat unlikely photo update, AI recently visited The Holy Land Experience in Orlando, FL and would like to share the photos here.

Below are just a few previews from the full gallery which contains nearly 50 photographs:


The park entrance.


Cardboard Standee Jesus welcomes us just inside the turnstyles. There's Cardboard Standee Jesus' all throughout the park.


Noah's Ark is full of garden gnomes gone terribly wrong.


Inside the Ark, Jesus himself invites you to play the blessed claw machine, just like the Bible foretells!


I don't think they quite understand the mechanics of how photo ops like this typically work.


What celebration of God would be complete without an up-charge rock climbing wall!


The park recently added this "high tech" water show.


Home of The Last Supper character dining experience. I'm really not even joking.


And on the 8th day, God created a male horse.



Here's the thing - clearly I'm not personally religious. This update is in no way intended to offend someone who might be. It's simply to point out how silly some of the things are from a design stand-point. A lot of this park *really doesn't work.* What does work - there's some very nice architecture, and, not an easy task, for the most part they got the rockwork right. The landscaping is nice and the employee costumes are wonderfully detailed. The employees themselves are very friendly. The content of the park, on the other hand, is clearly scripted by the TV evangelists who own it. It's not about helping you understand faith, it's about helping you "understand" that you're "so lucky" to have it that you should give us all your money right away. There was a distinctly evil vibe about the place. The guests that were there - obviously very religious - clearly were blinded by how much money they were tossing around. For a park with basically no attractions and a few poorly scripted shows and virtually no land, it takes a lot of nerve to charge a $35 admission fee. Add to that the fact that they operate under the guise of helping you, not profiting from it - there's no reason to. They just don't have enough in the park that would require the staffing size necessary of a $35 admission. It's sad to see people ripped off in such a way that they are literally tricked into believing that is not the case. I only saw one show, the crucifixion one - which I personally found to be a bit more violent and bloody than needbe. I get that it's how the story goes, but I don't think people want to see someone beaten and bloodied like that in a theme park show.

If I were to sum up the "park" in one experience - it would be standing in the gift shop when Jesus himself came running in shouting that if we don't hurry, we might miss his storytelling show that was about to begin. Again, I'm not religious, but even *I* was offended by seeing Jesus Christ play the role of carnival barker.



If you'd like to see the full photo gallery that highlights some of the wonderful architecture and facades in the park, it can be found here.

[CreditCrazy]

That's hilarious.

[Chris]

That's hilarious.

It's meant to be taken very seriously, and *that* my friend, is what's hilarious.

[Tomas]

I will not visit that place ever...

[Chris]

I will not visit that place ever...

[KevinS]

What was the cut-out artist thinking? "I just wanted folks to experience what it would feel like to be an ancient Egyptian man's torso"?

[Chris]

What was the cut-out artist thinking? "I just wanted folks to experience what it would feel like to be an ancient Egyptian man's torso"?

I'm not sure, but I took a great photo in the Satan one with each arm going through the random holes in the air behind him and my leg coming out his stomach.